Sexy, Innocent Child-Woman

More songs that speak to me

Haha, this is what I do in my spare time--I check my blog, I look up the lyrics of certain songs, and I post them on my blog. Is this what my life as a graduate student and a research assistant has done to me? Lately, I've been doing non-academic stuff as this in my down time--no matter how busy my schedule is. I've been blogging like a maniac, really.

I looked up two more songs that speak to the heart...and say a lot about certain chapters of my young life. The songs remind me of certain relationships I had--of failed relationships and relationships that didn't turn out to be the way I wanted them to be.

By the way, who sang the song "Naked and Sacred?" Was it Chynna Phillips or someone else? I looked it up on Google and I saw several other names beside the song, so I just wanted to make sure. Wala lang. The first time I heard this song was almost five years ago. I was in a bar with some friends in the Philippines, although I don't remember which bar it was (was it in Libis or Malate?) or who I was with. I never thought I'd hear this song again, till I checked out NakedVagitarian's blog. Thanks for including that song in your background music, NV! Now I can sing to it, hehe =)

The lyrics of "Once in a Lifetime" speak to me in such a weird way. I always liked this song, and I could never explain why. I used to interpret the lyrics as the tale of someone left by a lover or a "bedfriend" she secretly loved, and I always wondered why the song spoke to me because I had never made love with someone who left me in the end. In fact, in the relationships I had been involved in at that time, I had never been left by anyone--at least, not yet, because this was years before R came into my life, played with my heart, mercilessly cut me out of his life, and broke my heart. Usually, I was the one who walked away.

In hindsight, I've come to realize the song says a lot about my relationship with H, my first girlfriend. We dated during my sophomore and junior year of college. Our relationship was an open relationship, though. She flirted and slept with guys in the open--in school, in the bars and clubs we went to, and sometimes, it was even right under my nose--but I put up with it, and loved her unconditionally (grabe, MARTYR!!!) For the record, we never had sex. I don't know why--and I wasn't in our relationship for the sex anyway. It's hard to explain why I can connect with the lyrics of the song so much. I never slept with her, so I don't even know what making love to her would have been like (although I wanted her to be my first you-know-what, for sure). I also broke up with her, eventually--not because of the way she was sleeping around, but because we had drifted apart and were living separate lives. Maybe it's because the song really conveys what it's like to love until it hurts--and what it means to risk loving someone, even when the other person would never love you back, or at least love you the way you want to be loved, or stop loving you at some point. Who knows? All I know is that H was my once in a lifetime. We lost touch after college, and I had my reasons for not wanting to see her for sometime. Weirdly enough, she would send her regards (and her love, as she put it) to my sister, whose boyfriend she was friends with, or my childhood best friend, whom she went to law school with. We resumed our communication last year, and we met up when I went home for a visit last fall and last Christmas. But she never called me again after the last time we went out.
Hehe, once in a lifetime talaga.

Here goes, the lyrics of the songs...

found herself @ 5:52 PM