Sexy, Innocent Child-Woman

In memoriam

Today also marks the fourth death anniversary of my dear friend Titan, who died in a car accident in Sorsogon in 2001. In retrospect, I believe the timing of his death was symbolic. He, a "closet Catholic," as he claimed to be (on account of the conflicts between his sexuality and the prejudice of the Church toward gays and lesbians) died on the feastday of St. Mary Magdalene, the Apostle to the Apostles, at 3:00PM, the hour of great mercy. (I was facilitating an immersion in Bilibid at that time, and I remember how several inmates from Maximum Security told me that I was really "matamlay" or "wala sa sarili" that afternoon. I must have had a premonition then because the very next day, at 8:00AM, I received a text message from a friend in Bicol who broke the sad news to me.)

God. I went through different emotions at that time--from shock to denial to hysteria to anger to numbness to grief to depression. He was supposed to go to Manila the following week, and we had made plans to go bar/club-hopping and dance the night away, like the good old days. Since I knew my parents wouldn't allow me to stay out late, let alone sleep over at a friend's house, I had even considered pretending I had to facilitate an immersion that weekend, just so I could hang out with Titan. If truth be told, Titan taught me to sneak out during our second year in college, which was the height of my "wild girl" years, hehehe =). He left Ateneo after the first semester because his parents felt it would be better for him to stay in Bicol, but whenever he visited Manila, we would meet up and paint the town red. Tumatakas ako n'un para lang sa kanya.

Anyway, please remember my friend in your prayers. Titan, wherever you are right now, I hope and pray that you're happy. I miss you so much, pero kung saan ka masaya, suportahan ta ka, bakla. Rest in peace, my friend. Stay happy.

found herself @ 3:37 PM