Weekend in Waukegan
WAAAH! I just spent the last four hours typing a long-ass entry about my weekend and some reflections about it, when my Internet connection got cut. Malamang nabura rin ang sinulat ko. =( I don't have a strong Internet connection at my apartment, as I just discovered today, so I think I'll have to blog at the computer lab in school, as much as possible.***
I spent this past weekend with my nun-friends from the congregation I've been in contact with for the past four years (I went to their high school, but I wasn't close to them because I felt they were a bunch of mean, crabby, close-minded nuns, for the most part. So it's funny how our paths crossed right after I graduated from college. I got to see a different side of them, and now, they're a major part of my life). Sr. Rose Therese, the postulant directress, invited me to spend the weekend in their postulancy center in Waukegan, IL. Since this weekend was one of my last "free weekends" (because tomorrow, I start a new part-time job at the women's archives office in my school) and I'm always happy to go somewhere and get away from Chicago--or at least, my neighborhood--every once in a while, I took her up on her offer. I took the Metra train from Chicago to Waukegan in the afternoon of Friday the 8th. I missed the train I was supposed to take because I went to the wrong platform (after rushing to get to the train station on time--stupid, noh?), so I ended up taking a later train. At any rate, I got to Waukegan in one piece.
The Waukegan community was a full house this past weekend. There are four sisters and two associates (what they call women who are applying to the congregation, but haven't formally entered), to begin with. And another young lady stayed over that weekend. So there were eight of us in the house. We were as international as we could get, with one American sister, one German sister, two Indonesian sisters, two Vietnamese ladies (one associate and one visitor), and two Filipinas (one associate and the uncategorizable me), not to mention one Argentinian sister who dropped by for lunch. I've always appreciated the internationality of the congregation I visited. Meeting sisters from all over the world has really widened my horizons. I also feel really welcome with them because they make an effort to reach out to me and include me in their activities or conversations without being patronizing.
The sisters invited some novices and theology students from their brother congregation for Mass, followed by a get-together on Friday evening. At first, I was a bit nervous because of a traumatic experience I had in the recent past. You see, I was sexually harrassed by C, a seminarian (a theology student) from that congregation, in my own apartment in October of 2003, right before my midterms. When I confided in Fr. JF, a Filipino priest from that order who went to my school and who I considered a friend then, I got a very defensive and even arrogant response. This chauvinist pig of a priest uttered such lines as, "Ikaw kasi, napaibig tuloy siya sa iyo," and "Masanay ka na" (in the event that I become a nun) and reduced the seminarian's actions to a formation issue. When I e-mailed the priest to say I was really offended by his response, he sent me three harsh e-mails, accused me of being "judgmental, un-Christian, and unhuman (sic--may Ph.D. at tatlong MA nga siya pero di naman marunong mag-Ingles, hehehe)" on account of my note, and insinuated that I was being vindictive. Oh, and after telling me he wasn't interested to learn about the details about what C did to me, Fr. JF had the nerve to forward my e-mail to Sr. Rose Therese, on the pretext that I really needed help. To make a long story short, anything that had to do with the brother congregation of my nun-friends brought back VERY BAD MEMORIES.
As soon as the seminarians arrived, I immediately checked to see if C was there. Thank God he wasn't there--although I almost flipped out because one of the theology students looked like him. I actually had fun hanging out with the novices and theology students I met that night. We played games after dinner and I bonded with some of them. Hehe, I sensed the theology student who looks like C was kinda fond of me because there were times when he singled me out and took candid shots of me and he gave me a hug during the last game we played. But I didn't feel violated or anything of that sort. Next to C, the seminarians I met are saints.
After the seminarians left, I helped the sisters clean up. Ate Purita, the Pinay associate, and I spent the rest of Friday night talking. She shared her family and work background and vocation stories with me, and I shared a little bit of my experiences with the nuns and how I ended up searching in and discerning the religious life after my "wild girl" years. We talked till 2 AM.
The rest of the weekend was pretty low-key. I heard mass with the sisters and Ate Purita in the mornings. I also helped clean the house yesterday (Saturday) morning, after which Sr. Edel (from Indonesia) took me and Ate Purita around Waukegan. I got to see the different parishes where they work. When we got home, Ate Purita and I spent the rest of the afternoon surfing the Inquirer website to read up on the latest political developments in the Philippines, and I showed her the "Hello Garci" transcripts (nakakahiya kasi mas updated pa yata si Sr. Edel kaysa sa amin. Pati si Susan Roces, kilala niya). We also ended up talking some more until it was time for dinner. This time, we talked about my life experiences, particularly my colorful love life. I got the sense that Ate Purita was conservative, bordering on homophobic (toward lesbians), so medyo censored ang kuwento ko. But I did tell her na pang-"autovolt" ang appeal ko and I'm not homophobic, so it's up to her to read between the lines.
After supper, Sr. Rose Therese, Sr. Edel, Ate Purita, and I watched Hotel Rwanda, a heartbreaking movie about the genocide in Rwanda in 1994. I had a lot to pray about that night. The next time I complain about my homesickness, I'd better remember those who survived the genocide but had to flee the country and start over as refugees in foreign lands.
Today, the sisters had a mission appeal scheduled at the Immaculate Concepcion Parish in Waukegan. They set up booths with literature and pictures of the congregation. I helped manage one of the tables after the mass I attended. I occasionally got mistaken for a nun, but the funny thing is, I didn't mind--and for once, I didn't get all defensive and clarify that I was just a friend of the nuns. I used to be so particular about it, as in.
I went home with Sr. Edel, Sr. Lauren (from Germany), and Ate Purita right before the next mass. While waiting for Sr. Rose Therese to come home so we could have lunch, Ate Purita and I talked some more. Sr. Rose Therese thought it was so funny for us to talk nonstop. The other visitor and I left shortly after lunch. Sr. Rose Therese gave us a ride home, and Teresa (the Vietnamese associate) accompanied her.
Weirdly enough, when I stayed with the sisters, I didn't feel like I was a visitor. I felt so at home with them, to the point that I felt I had lived at their house for ages, instead of just visiting for the weekend. Wala lang. Wonder what that means. If I tell Sr. Dinah about it, I bet she'll have a good laugh.
found herself @ 11:08 PM
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