More thoughts about my sisters on death row--Part 1
While browsing through the Philippine Daily Inquirer website, I came across Rina Jimenez-David's latest column, which is about a woman on death row at the Correctional Institution for Women (CIW). Check it out!The column features the story of "Catherine," one of the four death row inmates included in a case study commissioned by Philippine Human Rights Information Center (PhilRights, or "Human Rights," in CIW parlance) and Women's Education, Development Productivity, and Research Organization (WEDPRO). The case study is part of a book entitled Invisible Realities, Forgotten Voices: The Women on Death Row from a Gender and Rights-based Perspective. I can't wait to get a hold of this book!!! In fact, I feel like calling my sisters in the Philippines and asking them if they could buy a copy of the book for me. (I really want to do something like this for my dissertation. Please, God!)
I had heard about the PhilRights/WEDPRO research project the last time I stayed the night in the death row dorm. For Mama C, one of my close friends on death row mentioned that she, along with three other inmates, had been interviewed for this study. And I think I know who the real "Catherine" is--I believe she and Mama C are one and the same person. I won't elaborate on what I know. Suffice it to say that I know Mama C well enough to recognize how her background matches that of "Catherine" in Mrs. Jimenez-David's column.
I have fond memories of Mama C. She has a strong personality, and she sure doesn't mince words. Grabe rin siya mang-alaska ng mga inmates na ka-close niya, tulad ni Ate M, ang best friend nya (she teases the inmates she's close to, like her best friend, Ate M, mercilessly). But behind her "tough," headstrong facade is a tender-hearted woman with a wacky sense of humor. She remembers every little thing I share about my life here in my letters to her and my other sisters on death row. During my visits to CIW, she would always offer me cigarettes or merienda (snacks). She also let me use her bed when I slept over in CIW the last time I was home. And she is the reason why I ended up sleeping in CIW not once, but twice, before I came back here--during my second to the last night in the Philippines, at that.
I was surprised because I didn't talk to her that much in the past. But when I said goodbye to her at the end of my visit on January 8th, she suddenly begged me to sleep in their dorm again on Saturday the 14th (I had slept over the previous week). I initially declined, explaining, "Ma, paalis na po ako. Sa [January] 16 ang alis ko. (Ma, I'm about to leave the Philippines. I'm leaving on the 16th [of January]."
"Eh sa 14 ka naman matutulog dito. May dalawang araw ka pa naman bago ka umalis (But you'd be sleeping over on the 14th. You'd still have two more days left [to yourself] before you leave." Hehe, tumawad pa siya (She sure knew how to strike a bargain).
"Ha (Huh)?" I was speechless. She had a point.
"Sige na, matulog ka dito sa 14, ha? Sige na. Ha? (Please sleep over on the 14th, okay? Please?)" Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Magpapaalam pa po ako sa nanay ko (I still have to ask permission from my mom)," I said to her as she wiped her eyes. I didn't want to see her cry.
Weirdly enough, my mom allowed me to stay the night on death row again, even if it was my second to the last night in the Philippines. And she broached the topic the morning after Mama C begged me, in tears, to sleep in their dorm one more time before my return flight to Chicago. It turned out my mom was expecting me to do just that. On the day of my last "sleepover" in CIW, Mama C was so happy to see me. She just gave me a big hug and handed me a cigarette, grinning sheepishly.
I still remember the heart-to-heart talk we had during my last night on death row. We talked about everything from her life before and during her incarceration to her hopes of being released from prison in time. We even shared our concerns about Ate B, a former inmate on death row who was acquitted in 2004 after spending nine years in prison and who still seems alienated from free society (I don't blame her).
Mama C also criticized the attempts of some inmates (especially those belonging to faith-based groups) to come to terms with their incarceration by rationalizing that they could focus on their past mistakes and become closer to God in prison: "Anong pinagsasasabi nila na, 'Prison is paradise?' (What are they talking about when they claim, 'Prison is paradise?') This place is hell." And she gave a rather elaborate description of the hell that she and the other inmates were in: "Paradise ba 'yon, 'yung pupunta ka sa kitchen (kung saan nila kinukuha ang "rancho" nila) tapos 'yung kanin, merong ginupit na kukong may Cutex pa? Paradise ba 'yon, na makita mong may tentacles ng ipis 'yung pagkain mo? O kaya may lizard? (Is it "paradise" when we go to the kitchen [for rations] and we find that the rice has someone's nail clippings with nail polish to boot? Is it "paradise" when you see your food has the tentacles of a cockroach in it? Or a lizard?)" She went on to cite the case of Lola (Grandma), an 83-year-old inmate on death row who had recently found such objects in her rice.
It was a heartbreaking conversation. What could we do when there seemed to be no answers to all our questions? All I could do was listen to her...and pray for her and with her, if only to accompany her in her brokenness. In the prison cell I shared with them that night, I faced the reality of her powerlessness--and my own powerlessness.
***
If you're interested, you might want to check out PCIJ's article about the launching of the PhilRights/WEDPRO study, as well. The article sums up the findings of the research project. The article also includes a summary of the findings of a survey of death row inmates done by the Free Legal Assistance Group (FLAG).
I'm thankful that the women on death row are receiving more attention these days. Indeed, the death penalty tends to be associated with men offenders, since there are fewer women on death row. Women offenders face unique issues and concerns, regardless, on account of their gender. But they remain invisible--which is also because of their gender. It's about time the stories of incarcerated women were told.
found herself @ 8:52 PM
6 Comments:
Diane, I've never told you this but I've always admired you for your commitment to the communities you've been helping. You love what you're doing and you've given so much of yourself to these people who have become your friends; in turn they have given you their lasting friendship and love--definitely worth more than a million dollars! (Well, not really, but you get what I'm trying to say.)
I'm so happy to have a friend like you. You are an amazing person. I love you! *hugs* :)
Di, thanks for updating us on this.
On a lighter note, I have a meme posted on my blog. Knkowing you are so busy I did not think that I should tag but you but know you are welcome to answer.
Peace,
Lisa
Rina: Thank you so much!!! Awww...Touched naman ako sa sinabi mo, as in!
I can't imagine what my life would be like without my sisters in CIW--or the Aetas in Tarlac, the babies and girls at CRIBS, and all the other communities who have made me a part of their lives, for that matter. Corny as it may sound, these people are such a part of me. I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for them. They opened my eyes to all the injustices around me and taught me what really matters in life. And they've also been instrumental in renewing my relationship with God.
In terms of my commitment to these communities, it's the least I could do. I'm just giving back the love--and the social consciousness---that I've received. Hindi ako nagmamalinis. There have been times when I'd question the essence of social responsibility or even my involvement in community service. Thank God for the gift of reassurance and enlightenment at the height of my cynicism or disillusionment. You're right--I love what I'm doing. I'm so humbled by the friendship and love of the people in the communities where I've volunteered. I wouldn't trade my relationship with them for anything else in the world.
Thank you for your support. It means a lot to me, especially since you've known me since our high school days. Love you rin! *HUGS* rin. See you when I go home! Sana magkita na tayo sa wakas!
Lisa: You're very welcome! Thanks for taking time out to read this, and for always wanting to know about the situation of women prisoners (especially death row inmates) in the Philippines.
And thanks for thinking of me when you posted the meme in your blog. I'll check it out. Take care!
Pag nababasa ko mga post mo, ewan ko pero iba ka. Di ko kakayanin mga ginagawa at nagagawa mo. Usually kasi pag bakasyon sa pinas more or less 1 month lang. Nauubos sa pamilya yung mga araw na yun. Buti okay lang sa mama mo na more than half yata ng bakasyon mo eh nasa ibang tao ka.
Sana dumami pa katulad mo. Honestly. God bless.
Mommy Ann: Hindi ko rin akalain na gagawin ko ito. I never expected that I'd end up doing volunteer work at CIW, pero salamat na rin at nangyari 'yon. Being involved in that kind of ministry is a gift from God. Baka 'yun na ang "calling" ko sa buhay, hindi ang pag-aasawa, hehe :)
Usually, one month lang rin ako sa Pinas pag bakasyon ko (kung umabot ng five weeks, sobrang swerte ko na). Aminado naman ako na madalas akong wala sa bahay, hehe :) Sa buong bakasyon ko, isa o dalawang araw lang akong hindi lumalabas ng bahay. Maswerte rin ako kasi kinukunsinti ako ng nanay ko. Alam niya naman na mas inuuna ko pa ang pagpunta sa CIW o sa mga Aeta sa Tarlac kaysa ang mga gimik kasama ng mga barkada ko. Kaya naiintindihan niya naman ako. Weird nga, pinapayagan akong matulog sa CIW or sa bahay ng mga Aeta, pero hindi ako pinapayagang matulog sa bahay ng mga kaibigan ko (except if it's an out-of-town trip).
Salamat rin sa nakaka-touch niyong comment. God bless you too!
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