I'm so bad...
I have a confession to make: When I was home, I did something to hurt Mama C, my nanay-nanayan (surrogate mom) in CIW. It was a very stupid mistake on my part. I tried to keep it hidden, but she found out about it very recently. I guess nothing really stays hidden, period--what you do in the dark will come to the light, at some point. So she's really mad at me. I felt her anger, hurt, frustration, and pain in her letter. I don't blame her. I hurt her so much. I admit my faults, and now I have to deal with the consequences of my actions.If I had wings, I would fly home right now to let her know that I'm really sorry for hurting her and that I never meant to make her cry and cause her so much pain. I'd tell her I love her so much--even if I made really bad decisions that hurt her.
She may be a faceless prisoner in the eyes of other people...but she means the world to me. She's a close friend, an older sister, a mother-figure, and a confidante all rolled into one. I'm only sorry I didn't value our relationship as much as she did. I was really precious to her. But I took her love for granted and did something to hurt her. Because of a single, stupid mistake on my part, our relationship is hanging in the balance.
Now she wants to let go of me, even if it's painful for her. She ended her letter by saying: "It's hard to let go of someone who touched my life. But it hurts me more to let go of someone who was never mine yet changed my life the most."
Ouch!!!
I'm so bad. I feel so low right now. God help me.
found herself @ 9:55 AM
10 Comments:
hello there! diri pa naman siguro late. bangin pwede ka pa mag-damage control. sometimes people say things they don't really mean, dala lang ng tindi ng nararamdaman nila that moment. baka ganun lang ang nangyari sa friend mo. you may have hurt her but if you would let her know how sincerely sorry you are for what you did, things may get better between the two of you. ikaw na rin naman nagsabi na close friend mo siya. ang close friend, hindi naman basta-basta nagko-close ng heart nila. i'm praying for you.
write her a letter and be sincere on everything.
maybe its not too late to rekindle the friendship.
its better you talk it over than do nothing.
Goodluck Di, my prayers with you.
hi diane!
i am sure you two will be able to iron things out. as you said, she's your nanay-nanayan, so hindi ka nya matitiis if you apologize.
hope you're ok. take care my friend!
its never to late pa diba?
hay, sana magkaayos na kayo :(
Bea: Thank you for your advice and your prayers. I just finished writing her a long letter, and I told her I was really sorry for hurting her. I just hope she'll find it in her heart to forgive me.
Sana nga pwede pang mag-damage control. Sobrang mahal niya talaga ako and I blew it. Sana nga, hindi basta-bastang mag-close ang heart niya. Pero tanggap ko naman talaga na may kasalanan ako. Hay...sana maayos rin 'to. :(
Mommy Lei: I just finished writing her a letter. Weekend dito ngayon kaya sa Monday ko na mapapadala. In the meantime, I sent her so many text messages through one of the guards in CIW. Grabe, nag-panic talaga ako n'ung nabasa ko ang sulat niya kaya tinawagan ko pa 'yung gwardya at muntikan pa akong umiyak sa phone.
Hay...I also hope it's not too late to fix things. Thank you for your prayers.
Doc Nikki: Waaah :( I just finished writing her a letter and I apologized for everything. I don't blame her for being so upset with me right now because I really hurt her...eh nanay-nanayan ko pa naman siya. Sana maayos rin ito.
I can't say I'm okay right now. Hindi ako mapakali dahil sa mga pangyayari. Ang hirap pa kasi ang layo ko. I can only do so much at this time. :( Thanks for your concern.
Ingat.
Ate Malaine: Sana nga hindi pa huli ang lahat. :( Ipagdasal mo na lang kami, sana magkaayusan rin kami ng nanay-nanayan ko.
Ingat!
Hi, D, sorry things are a struggle right now. I wish you peace!
Lisa: Hey there! Thanks for your concern. Take care.
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