Sexy, Innocent Child-Woman

Surprises from the Universe

I first met her in August of 2002, a few weeks before I left for the States to pursue graduate studies in sociology. She was then a community organizer for a non-government organization (NGO) that was doing some work with the Aeta Mission of a religious order, of which I was a volunteer. We spent five days together in the mountains of Tarucan, a resettlement area for Aetas in the heart of Tarlac. She gave a training session for the community leaders and facilitated the mapping of their ancestral domain. I had tagged along to help out one last time and say goodbye to the Aetas. I observed her at work, and I admired her not only for her expertise, but also the way she dealt with the leaders and the community in general. There was something about her that was just so grounded and genuine. Her passion for her work and concern for the people she served was both inspiring and contagious.

We got along immediately, and we had brief but interesting conversations in between her (our) work. However, it wasn't until August of 2004 that we really bonded. I was home for a vacation at that time, and I spent a week in the mountains of Kalangitan, another resettlement area in Tarlac. She had since moved on to do community organizing for the sisters in charge of the mission area. She had a training session for the community leaders, so she was in Kalangitan when I got there. We shared a room, and we talked till the wee hours of the morning. We talked about everything from our love lives to our political views to our spirituality. When we climbed the mountains of Bilad, a more remote resettlement area, and stayed the night there, the nuns had to separate us. Otherwise, we would have talked till the wee hours of dawn again.

It was in Bilad that I met her husband-to-be. He was, and still is, a community organizer for another NGO, and he was there to help set up a water system for the community. His simple lifestyle and dedication to his work immediately struck me. I found this really impressive, considering his background. You see, this guy isn't even a Filipino. He is an American by birth, but he has lived in the Philippines for most of his life. He speaks Tagalog fluently, and considers the Philippines his home. During conversations, he would refer to this country as our common native land ("sa atin"). He lived with the Mangyans for so many years, imbibing their ways, before moving on to serve the Aetas.

Once, I chanced upon him and my friend talking. I thought they would make a good match. After all, they were both community organizers and shared the same dedication to the cause of indigenous people. Being on the same wavelength, they would talk about anything under the sun, while remaining open to the members of the community who needed them. I wondered if they would end up together. And I hoped that would happen. just because I sensed that they would make a wonderful couple. Apparently, the nuns and the other people I was with felt the same way.

Fast forward to 2005: The year is about to come to a close. My dear friend, Ate Jane, and Bruce have been married for a little over a week now. On December 18th, they were married by a Methodist pastor in the Immanuel Bible School, in the mountains of Sta. Juliana, Tarlac. The Aeta community, which served as their link, was pretty much involved in the wedding; about 1,000 Aetas showed up. While reciting their vows, my friends mentioned that their union would strengthen their ties and service to the indigenous communities they were involved with. Awww...how sweet. Now that's my kind of wedding.

Congratulations and best wishes, Ate Jane and Kuya Bruce! Ito na nga, nagkatotoo ang mga kutob, hehe :)

found herself @ 5:17 AM 7 comments

Merry Christmas!

Hi everyone! Just wanted to greet you a blessed Christmas and a prosperous New Year! May God bless you and your family this year and beyond. And may you feel the love and presence of Emmanuel, God-with-us, not only today, but at all times.

To all my friends abroad, know that I'm remembering you in my prayers. My mom asked me to lead the prayer before our Christmas dinner, and I said a special prayer for you.

Maligayang Pasko po sa ating lahat!

Cheesy as this may sound, ito na yata ang pinakamasayang Pasko sa buhay ko. I'm soooo happy!

found herself @ 7:58 PM 6 comments

Greetings from Tarlac

Hello everyone! I didn't have internet access over the past couple of days, so I just read your comments/messages now. It's 820AM and I'm at an internet cafe in San Rafael, Tarlac City, Tarlac. I stayed with my nun-friends from Saturday night till this morning. They also know my friend who just got married, so we went to the wedding together. I left right after breakfast, just as they were about to have a meeting. I'm about to head for their mission area in the mountains of Capas, Tarlac. The mission area is a resettlement area for Aetas, more popularly known as Kalangitan (Heaven). So malapit akong umakyat sa langit ngayon, hehe :) I'll be staying there until December 22nd or 23rd. I've been going there since I was 12 years old, so the place is so close to my heart. The Aetas there saw me grow up, so they treat me like I'm one of them. I'll be staying with a family that has known me since my high school years.

The wedding was great. Too bad we were late so I missed the march at the beginning of the ceremony. May budyong pa naman (Note: A budyong is a carabao horn that the Mangyans use to signal a major event or gather the people together)...I missed that...waaah! But the ceremony, as well as the reception, had a lot of instances that were just so moving. The ninongs and ninangs included a Mangyan couple. Iyak sila ng iyak nung wedding ceremony. Yun pala, parang nanay at tatay na rin sila asawa ng kaibigan ko. He lived with them during the years he spent as a Peace Corps volunteer in Mindoro. Right after the wedding, I witnessed an Aeta couple hand a native rooster to my friend and her husband. It turned out they had walked for two hours just to make it to the wedding. At marami pang iba.

Dun lang ako nakakita ng Mangyan at Aeta na magkasama. Oh, Dinky Soliman was there. So was Howie Severino. Nakasabay kong mag-lunch si Dinky Soliman. She commented that the wedding was one of the most culturally integrated ceremonies she had ever witnessed. Mabuhay ang mga katutubo!

I didn't bring the connector of my digicam so I'll upload the pictures when I go back to Manila.

Addendum:

Here is a picture of the Aeta couple who walked to Sta. Juliana, Tarlac for two hours just to give the native rooster to my friend and her husband. I was standing right in front of them when that happened, and I was really touched by what I witnessed.

found herself @ 8:19 AM 8 comments

Hello from QC

Well, I got home without any hitches, the many items on my "To Do" list notwithstanding. I got home about four hours before the first day of Simbang Gabi, so I didn't sleep at all. My jet lag is terrible. I sleep for about two or three hours at a time. At least I don't need to set my alarm so I can wake up in time for the Simbang Gabi. Speaking of which, I'm about to leave for church.

I'm leaving for Tarlac this afternoon to attend my friend's wedding tomorrow, December 18th. My friend, a community organizer at the Aeta Mission I used to help out with, is getting married to another community organizer. He's an American citizen, but he's been based here for over 20 years, so he feels like he's a Filipino. He lived and worked with the Mangyans for many years. He met my friend while doing some community organizing work for the Aeta Mission. Since they met in the mountains of Tarlac, they agreed to get married there. The Mangyans and Aetas will participate in the ceremony, as well. The Mangyan elders will take on the role of giving away my friend's husband-to-be. And the liturgy will have some indigenous rituals, like the playing of the budyong. I can hardly wait.

My niece Summer will entertain you while I'm away. Ang cute ng pamangkin ko, nakakagigil! She's so sweet. And she's a major reason why I didn't mind staying home yesterday.

found herself @ 3:44 AM 11 comments

Like a headless chicken

Good Lord. My last two days in Chicago just went by so fast because I had so much to do. I was all over the place, running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Here are some of the things I had to take care of before I left.

Monday, December 12th

• I put in a couple of hours at the women's archives of my school (one of my part-time jobs)
• I took care of some paperwork with my department and the office for international students, so I could teach off-campus next semester. A community college offered me an adjunct position (for two classes), and this offer was only finalized on December 9th. It was too good to pass up on, so I had to contact the powers that be immediately.
• I talked to one of my nun-friends, who I didn't get to see prior to my trip. She will be attending a formators' course in Tagaytay for a year, but I'm going back to the States the day she is scheduled to arrive here. Kainis, sobrang frustrated kami pareho dahil di pa kami mag-aabot dito.
• I pulled an all-nighter to prepare my students' final exam, which was scheduled the following morning. I wanted to make sure the questions were challenging enough, and that they weren't redundant or about the same topics. Hehe, strikta ako.

Tuesday, December 13th

• I had to coordinate with a special needs student as to when he would take the exam (he has to take the exam at a quiet location, and he needs extra time).
• I had to figure out a plan of action after another student e-mailed me at 4:00 AM to inform me that she couldn't take the exam till later this week because she was out of town to visit her father, who is ill. I started to panic because I didn't want to reschedule my trip. Good thing my friend and co-teacher Rita agreed to proctor the exam for me and scan my student's test paper and e-mail it to me afterward. Thank God for technology!
• I administered the final exam. I skipped breakfast and I hadn't slept a wink, so it's a wonder I didn't pass out in the classroom.
• I met with the department chair of the community college to turn in extra paperwork, sign my contract, get the textbooks, and go over teaching-related concerns.
• I had to go back to my school to proctor the exam for my other student.
• I graded extra-credit reaction papers and revised research papers, as well as papers that were submitted late. I don't even remember how many papers I graded.
• I had to go back to downtown Chicago (south of the community college) to return books to the library.
• I bought pasalubong for my dad and brother.
• I waited for my auntie to come over so she could drop off the many things she wanted to send to my parents and relatives.

Wednesday, December 14th

The morning of my trip

• I packed my things (Buti na lang mabilis akong mag-empake).
• I did my laundry and cleaned my apartment.
• I graded my students' group exercises and the rest of the papers that were submitted late.
• I left the rent check and spare keys with my roommate. She had also agreed to run some errands for me, so I gave her last-minute instructions.
• I sent a quick e-mail to my students about where they could pick up their papers.
• I dropped off the rest of the papers at the department.

During the flight

• I graded my students' final exams the whole time, with the intention of submitting their grades as soon as I got home.

Well, I sure got a lot of work done. I haven't gone out yet ever since I got here. Aside from the fact that I needed to recuperate after my loooong flight, I had to grade the final exam of the student who took it late, as well as the final paper of another student who submitted it very, very late (pasaway!). And I had to turn in the students' final grades by Friday morning, at the latest.

As of now, that's all taken care of. So now I can go ahead and enjoy my vacation.

found herself @ 9:10 AM 0 comments

Busy Weekend

Whoa! This weekend sure went by so fast. Here are some highlights of my weekend:

Friday night:

Lagare ako sa trabaho noong araw na iyon, kaya nag-relax ako pagkatapos. My department had a Christmas party. I sure had a blast! It turned out the department sponsored a "gingerbread house" decorating contest. Each table had a kit with which to make a gingerbread house, and the participants had to use cake frosting to glue things together. Each table also had an assortment of sweets--candy canes, gum drops, and all that good stuff--which the participants could use to decorate their houses. Well, in my group, Rita (a fellow graduate student and co-teacher) and I ended up doing most of the work. Rosa (the academic programs coordinator of the department) and her daughter Eva also helped out, while everyone else just watched us. It was quite an experience putting the house together, especially since the frosting was pretty watery and the house kept falling apart. But Rita and I just played around with what we had, and pretty soon, we put the house together. Eva put together a church while experimenting with the extra pieces, and we joined the house and the church together. We actually won an award for the "Most Avante-Garde" house, haha.

Here is our work of art:


After the Christmas party, I attended the anticipated Simbang Gabi mass at my school, which was co- sponsored by the Filipino and Latino student organizations. There was a reception after the mass, featuring cultural presentations. I made new friends that night. I also got to watch one of my students perform--she danced the tinikling. I didn't get home till 11PM or so. I was supposed to update my blog, but I was so brain-dead by then.

I chatted with Ame.sweet, Ayeza, and two college friends, Mike and Awit, before I went to bed.

Saturday

I didn't do anything much. I meant to go to downtown Chicago to return an overdue book and the DVDs I had checked out from the public library and/or pass by The Body Shop, which had a weekend sale. But it was pretty cold, and it started snowing again in the afternoon, so I decided to stick around (I'm not much of a shopper anyway. I totally drag my feet whenever I have to go to the mall).

I chatted with Melai and Mommy Neng for a bit. Ang saya-saya, sumakit ang tiyan ko sa kakatawa. Ang kulit niyo, hehe...mali, makulit rin pala ako. I also chatted with Nang Ethel briefly.

My friend Monica, who is in Chicago for a visit (she's going back to Chile in early January), wanted to hang out that night, so we ended up watching a movie entitled Good Night and Good Luck. It was about the McCarthy era, and she got all fired up talking about the movie afterward. (She has a master's degree in Political Science, so she gets really passionate about anything related to politics and governance.)

We ended up going to Starbucks before we parted ways. Here is a picture of us at Starbucks:


Sunday

I finally got my butt over to downtown Chicago to do some Christmas shopping. Monica accompanied me there. Despite some setbacks during the commute to downtown Chicago and my being in a funky mood (because I hate shopping, except when I buy books), I actually got a lot of shopping done. And for someone who prefers to shop on her own and who thus felt strange to have someone follow her around (among other things), I'd say I took things pretty well. I got really good deals on the stuff I purchased. I just have to buy something for my dad and my lolo. Other than that, I'm all set.

***

And that was my weekend.

I have a headache, and my back and shoulders hurt, so I'd better get some rest. Have a great week, everyone.

I can't believe I'm going home in two days!

found herself @ 1:12 AM 7 comments

More bloopers in the classroom

I swear, I must be jinxed when it comes to using technology in the classroom. There are days when things work the way they're supposed to. But there have been more instances when everything backfires on me.

Today was no exception. I planned to show a film entitled America: Hunting for Sleeper Cells (part of a series called The Third World War: Al Qaeda) in my class. I previewed the DVD twice on my roommate's laptop last night. No sweat, right? I even prepared some notes, which I could use to frame the discussion.

So I arrived in class a few minutes early, made some announcements, and slipped the DVD into the CD-ROM/DVD drive of the computer in my classroom. For some reason, the damn thing would not play. I don't know if the computer got scared or intimidated by the topic of the film (terrorism) and/or the scenes showing the faces of George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden. It just didn't play at all. It took me about ten minutes to figure out that the application I used (Windows Media Player) might not recognize the DVD, for which I had to switch to another program (like RealPlayer). It took another five minutes for one of my students to help me figure things out and set up RealPlayer, as well as the volume control settings. Sheesh.

Because of the late start, my students ended up staying for three extra minutes to finish watching the film. Most of them didn't mind, although I could see that they were getting restless and they started putting their things away. But some of them had to leave about five minutes before the film ended, so they wouldn't be late for their next class. The student who helped me figure things out was one of them.

If we had proceeded according to schedule, I would have shown clips from this other documentary entitled Terror's Children, made by a 24-year-old Pakistani woman (click here to watch the video online), so that my students could look at the issue of terrorism from a local and an international perspective. But I suppose that will have to wait until our last class on Friday the 9th.

Oh well. A lot of students didn't come to class today, so at least there weren't that many people who witnessed my bloopers. And most of the students who showed up ended up staying to finish the movie, even if they would be three minutes late for their next thing. One of them just e-mailed me to ask a question, as well as to inform me: "I really liked the video in class today!"

found herself @ 2:04 PM 12 comments

My weekend in Michigan

To all those who left a comment or message on my blog while I was away--Des, Darlene, Laurentina, Mommy Neng, Nang Ethel, Kadyo, Ghie, Ate Malaine, Melai, hgd, i.n., Abster, and Air Milikay, thank you! And thanks to those who visited my blog, but didn't leave a note. Hope Churchill (Nang Ethel's four-legged boy) entertained you and kept you company.

I had a quiet but refreshing weekend in Michigan. The trains I took to Grand Rapids and back to Chicago got delayed, but I still enjoyed myself. I had a nice long talk with Sr. K, and it helped me resolve some issues I've been facing over the past couple of months. She also gave me sound advice about some life choices I've been discerning for some time.

I ended up doing some "career counseling" on spur of the moment the day I arrived in Grand Rapids. I talked to Emily, a sweet young lady who will be going to college next fall. She is part of the (bell) choir at Marywood (the name of the convent), and she had mentioned to Sr. K that she was considering majoring in Sociology, but she wasn't quite sure about the job opportunities available in the field. So Sr. K referred her to me. Sr. K invited her, as well as their other friends, for supper, on Saturday night, and Emily came an hour early so we could talk. I asked her about her interests, and it turned out she has had a lot of volunteer experience at her age. The fit between her interests and the discipline of Sociology was evident. Her face lit up when I told her about the different options available to her if she were to major in Sociology--especially when I talked about international development work. She also asked me about how I ended up in this field, what I'm studying and specializing in, and all that nerdy stuff. It turned out that she will be taking a college course in the Spring--the same class I'm teaching this semester and next semester. I had brought some textbooks with me (so I could do some reading on the train), so I showed them to her. Again, her face lit up as she pored over the books to figure out the issues she would most likely be studying in her class. Her enthusiasm was contagious. (Oops. "Teacher mode" na naman ako.)

We watched a play called "Godspell" at Aquinas College later that evening. It was a good performance, and it nearly moved me to tears. I even heard some people sniffling behind me. After we got home, Sr. K and I ended up talking till 2AM. Haha, pinuyat ko siya.

On Sunday, I joined the sisters for mass. One of the reasons why I enjoy visiting Marywood over and over again is because of their liturgy. I love the way they use inclusive language, and the way they have co-pastors (where one of the sisters stands at the altar with the priest during key parts of the liturgy, like the breaking of the bread). I also like the way some sisters give the homily ("preaching," in Dominican parlance). I value gender sensitivity in prayer and liturgy, and the nuns I visited are at the forefront of this.

After the mass, Sr. C, who lives with Sr. K, gave me a tour of their new health care facility. I enjoyed visiting with some of the elderly nuns--especially Sr. D, who walked around with a stuffed animal and showed us her room, where two other stuffed animals were tucked snugly into bed. It was really something when she "introduced" me to her stuffed animals. She pointed to a stuffed bear on her bed and told me: "That's my brother." When asked about the "identity" of the stuffed animal she was holding, Sr. D. replied: "This is my mother." I suddenly remembered my late grandmother. Before she passed away, my Lola had a polar bear, whom she referred to as her "boy." She kept her "boy" beside her at all times--when she ate, slept, and so forth.

The rest of the day was pretty low-key. We watched a DVD (The Interpreter), after which Sr. K introduced me to a game called Sudoku. Some of the sisters from the nearby apartments had dinner, so I enjoyed meeting and chatting with them. After the other sisters left, we watched TV, then headed to bed. And that was my weekend. I was happy to relax and hang out with the nuns.

I hit the ground running when I came back here yesterday. My train was 45 minutes behind schedule, so I freaked out because I had only enough time to prepare for class. I did the readings for my class and prepared my lecture notes (which were handwritten, since I didn't bring my ancient computer) on the train. I had to take a cab from Union Station to my school to save time, and I continued my notetaking in the cab, which must have been quite a sight. Anyhow, I got to campus 45 minutes before my class. I gave a lecture without any hitches. (THANK GOD!) For some reason, I felt even more prepared yesterday, even if I had just gotten back from an out-of-town trip. Maybe I should go out of town more often..not!

***

Take care, everyone. Have a great week ahead.

found herself @ 12:38 AM 9 comments

Oops! I'm still here.

Oops. I missed my train because of major bloopers on my part. First off, I ended up leaving school a few minutes late, so when I took the el (short for the "elevated train" that is a major part of Chicago's public transportation system) to the Union Station (where I would board the Amtrak train bound for Grand Rapids, MI), I was panicking like anything. Secondly, I ended up transferring to the wrong train--that is, instead of transferring from the Red Line train to the Brown Line train, I ended up boarding the Purple Line train by mistake. Because I was rather sleepy, I didn't realize I was on the wrong train until several stops later (duh! Katangahan to the max, I tell you). I got off just in time and transferred to the Brown Line without any hitches. However, by the time I got off the train, I had less than 15 minutes left. I literally sprinted for the Union Station (two or three blocks away), and I did get there before the train took off. However, the guards refused to let me through because I got to the terminal gate three minutes before the scheduled departure of the train. I would have made it if they had only let me through, but they wouldn't budge.

BWISET!!!!

I was so frustrated at that time, but I figured it would be senseless to argue with them. So I just asked them if I could get my ticket changed, which they said was possible. So I headed to the ticket counter and asked them to rebook my ticket. Since the next train wouldn't leave for Grand Rapids, MI, till 5:20PM tomorrow, I asked the ticket agent if there was an alternative route. Sure enough, she said I could take the train to Kalamazoo, MI, then take a bus to Grand Rapids. This train leaves at 7:50AM tomorrow. God. I hope I make it this time around.

I just talked to Sr. K, the nun I'm visiting this weekend, and she offered to pick me up at the Kalamazoo station, so I wouldn't have to take the bus to Grand Rapids anymore. That way, we'd have time to catch up before we get to their convent. That's so nice of her. Bless her heart. She just made my day...este, night na pala.

***

Even if I missed my train, somehow, things still worked out. I was able to do some shopping in downtown Chicago--and it's about time I got started on my Christmas shopping, since I have less than two weeks to prepare for my trip home. I passed by Rampage, and it turned out that one of my students works there. She was behind the cash register when I paid for the stuff I bought, and both of us were so surprised to see each other at this department store, of all places. It was so hilarious.

For what it's worth, I can also get some work done tonight. I can work on the final exam and upload the study guide, once and for all.

Oh well. Despite my missing my train, I still have a lot of things to celebrate today. I had a great class today, another "teachable moment." My students had a lively, passionate discussion about the ongoing war in Iraq and the involvement of the United States in the affairs of other countries. They had different opinions and perspectives, but no one put anyone else down for their views. It was a healthy discussion, which I'm thankful for. For an undergraduate class, what I witnessed today was so impressive.

Before they broke up into groups for their last collaborative learning group activity, one of my students commented: "That was fun." She also approached me after class just to tell me how much she enjoyed the discussion and how she recognized that it's really difficult to talk about the war without challenging or undermining others' views and beliefs--and the way they've been socialized into embracing those views and beliefs. I told her I felt the same way. I was really touched by the brief conversation we had. Whew! At least may binatbat pala ako bilang teacher, hehe :)

I love my students. Really. Even if some of them barely come to class and turn in their papers late, and even if a significant number fail to keep up with the readings, I love all of them. I'm so blessed to have such good students this semester. None of them gave me a major headache, so even if teaching 42 students takes up a lot of my time and drains me of my energy, I'm not complaining about my load. I just realized that I'll miss them dearly after this semester ends. Hehe, teacher na teacher ako, grabe. I can't believe I just said that.

I'm typing this in one of the computer labs of my school, and I gotta go home and get some sleep or do some work (whatever comes first). Good night. Hope you're enjoying your weekend in your side of the world. Take care, everyone!

found herself @ 9:42 PM 8 comments

Off to Michigan

I'm off to Grand Rapids, Michigan to visit my nun-friends for the weekend. I will be staying with the Grand Rapids Dominicans, the congregation my friend lived with for two and a half years before she decided to join a contemplative order. I've become friends with the nuns, and they invited me to spend a weekend with them before I go home to the Philippines. So that's what I'm doing.

I'm sure it will be strange to visit the convent without my friend anymore. But I have to face this issue sooner or later. Too bad we can't visit her in the monastery yet because it's too soon. Oh well.

Si Churchill muna ang magbabantay sa bahay ko habang wala ako. Nang Ethel, maraming salamat sa pagpapahiram kay Churchill sa akin!


Happy weekend ulit. Bye!

found herself @ 3:37 PM 6 comments

Omygod, December na

Ang bilis talaga ng panahon, grabe. Eleven months ago, I thought this month would never come...but now it's here. I'll be in the Philippines, my home sweet home, before I know it.

I had such a busy day. I worked at my school's archives the whole day. I had an hour to kill before my class tonight (I'm done with all my coursework, but I'm auditing a class on the Sociology of Gender to help me prepare for my first special field exam). My school sponsored the screening of two films on the AIDS crisis in Africa, so I attended that event. I was able to watch Left Behind, a documentary about the AIDS pandemic in Kenya, before I headed off to class. The documentary was so heartbreaking. AIDS is really a disease of poverty, in so many ways. And its hidden victims are children. Prior to this semester, I was vaguely aware of the extent of the global AIDS crisis. I only became more aware of the disease and its victims when I started teaching. Only then did I see the faces behind the statistics.

I just got an e-mail from one of my nun-friends, who accompanied my dear friend when she entered the monastery. This sister took pictures of my friend before and after her entrance ceremony. I texted my friend Jessie because I couldn't look at the pictures. I even had to wake up my roommate so she could keep me company while I viewed the pictures. It was so surreal to see my friend in a veil. But words can't even describe how radiant she looked in all the pictures. She had this light in her eyes--something I had never seen before, at least until she told me about her definite plans to enter the monastery. I know my friend is happy where she is now, where her heart is restless no more, now that she has dedicated herself to the service of God. Just for that, I'll be happy.

Will blog again soon. I have to finish preparing for class. I'm also leaving for Michigan to visit my nun-friends for the weekend and I haven't packed yet. I haven't even finished doing my laundry. Sheesh.

Ingat kayong lahat. Happy weekend!

found herself @ 12:29 AM 9 comments